If you’ve lately felt that your marriage or a very significant relationship is being attacked, don’t worry. You’re not alone. Ha, in fact, every marriage (and relationship, for that matter) is being constantly attacked by many enemies. Don’t worry, once we identify our enemies, we can defeat them and that goes for every single thing in your life. (I won’t mention routine, tips to make your spouse happy, etc…. this is not that kind of post. It’s more about beating the real demons that want to destroy everything that glorifies God. After all, that’s Satan’s goal, isn’t it?)
Last Sunday was our 4-year anniversary and it was a bit of a hectic weekend. We couldn’t celebrate much because I had to work but we weren’t bothered by that. We just thought something like: “Well, as long as we are together it’s fine.” And, it was. Until I woke up on Saturday, did some stuff and started checking some social media…. I started to compare my life to others’ and a lot of things I hadn’t thought for a while started flooding my mind. For almost an hour I felt terrible, I cried, I thought about silly things from my past, aagggrrrhhhh!!! I finally stopped and it was so clear to me… the enemy was influencing me and I was letting him… I was actually encouraging him by feeling the way I was. Before I finish my short story here, I want to refer to the matter at hand.
We know that God created marriage and that He hates divorce. One of God’s purposes for us is to be married and have a family of our own… He gives us children and they are a tremendous blessing. All this makes God very happy. That’s why the enemy (the devil) tries to destroy all of that… constantly.
One way he tries to do so is by tempting us and another way is by influencing, obsessing and controlling us.
On this post, I’m going to describe the last three on the list.
Remember that Peter, in his first letter adjures us to: “Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour.” (1 Peter 5:8). We must acknowledge our struggles, know that the spiritual warfare is real and strong. We are not “we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places” and that the only way we can beat the enemy is by resisting and opposing to it. That’s why our Father in His great and caring love, has given us a powerful weapon: His armor (Ephesians 6:11-18). I’ll refer to it later though. First, I want to help you identify the weapons that the enemy might be using in your marriage to destroy it.
When I talk about being influenced or obsessed by the devil or a demon I don’t mean someone is possessed… that’s completely different. (As Christians, we can’t be possessed by a demon because we belong to God. Despite this, we can and we are indeed attacked by demons.)
In 2 Corinthians 10-11, we are reassured that we act under Jesus’s authority for our benefit “so that Satan will not outsmart us” because we know his evil schemes. We must know and identify Satan’s M.O. so that we can outsmart him.
To do this, I’m going to refer to some examples in the Bible.
When Jesus told his disciples all He had to go through, Peter asked him to stop saying those things. Jesus immediately reprimanded him. But He didn’t say “Get away from me, Peter!” He said: “Get away from me, Satan!” (Mark 8:33)
The enemy influences us with thoughts, dreams, voices, etc. And he constantly does so to put ideas in our mind against our spouse. We have dreams in which our spouse is cheating on us with someone from work. Then, if s/he is talking to that person on the phone we get more thoughts against our spouse, even if the conversation is completely work-related.
In 1 Samuel 16:14 we read how Saul was obsessed by a demon: “Now the Spirit of the Lord had left Saul, and the Lord sent a tormenting spirit that filled him with depression and fear.”
An obsession is when the enemy has already influenced us with an idea and it becomes permanent. For example, any emotional dependency or an obsessive jealousy which can become pathological. Some signs (as seen in Saul – 1 Samuel 18:7-11) of obsessive jealousy are: to have no control over one’s emotions, to have some strong physical disease, and to be controlling (set boundaries and prohibitions).
In our example from the Bible, Saul forgets about everything else, even how to reign, because he was obsessed with David and the only thing he wanted was to kill him.
Another example of obsessions which is attacking marriages more and more are sexual addictions, especially men because we are being bombarded everywhere, all the time. That’s why we mustn’t give in because when we do it becomes an obsession and then a reality: actions.
These obsessions normally lead to:
In Luke 22:3 the Bible tells us that “Satan entered into Judas Iscariot” and he then betrayed Jesus.
When this happens, people lose control of every thing in their lives. That’s when people become addicts and even criminals. Drug addict, alcoholic, murderer, depraved, etc.
We must not give foothold to the devil.
That’s why it’s important that we, as Christians don’t accept even the littlest of things that we know God doesn’t accept or dislikes. Things like:
- being unforgiving. which makes us step out of God’s grace;
- not overcoming our fears: to lose your spouse, to lose your things… these are open doors.
- being subjective… do what we want, use the Scriptures the way we see convenient.
Normally, all the things that lead us to be influenced, obsessed or controlled by demons are things from our past that we haven’t been able to heal. These become fears and insecurities that give a foothold to the devil.
Defeating our enemies
As I mentioned at the beginning, the weapon that God gives us to beat these enemies is His armor. (Ephesians 6:10-18)
Verse 14 says: “Stand your ground“. This means that God calls us to be alert and defensive. Nonetheless, in 2 Chronicles 20: 15, 17 God also reminds us that, even if we are being attacked, the battle is not ours and we can count on Him but we must take our positions:
v.15 “He said, “Listen, all you people of Judah and Jerusalem! Listen, King Jehoshaphat! This is what the Lord says: Do not be afraid! Don’t be discouraged by this mighty army, for the battle is not yours, but God’s. v.17 But you will not even need to fight. Take your positions; then stand still and watch the Lord’s victory. He is with you, O people of Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid or discouraged. Go out against them tomorrow, for the Lord is with you!”
So to take our positions we must be prepared to fight the enemy with:
- The belt of truth: remember that Satan is the father of all lies but for that truth, we have this “higher” one: “you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:32. Don’t let the enemy change or twist your parent’s/friend’s/spouse’s words. Rather, if the two sides have their own truth, ask for God’s guidance. “Get the truth and never sell it” (Proverbs 23:23). The truth will always be brought to light (Luke 8:17).
- The body armor of God’s righteousness: Do what is RIGHT. Solomon asked for wisdom to be righteous in everything, to act according to God’s righteousness. In Micah 6:8 God requires of us to do what is right and He reminds us to do this in Matthew 6:33 “Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously“.
- For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News: Peace. That’s what we must look after in every relationship. We must strive to have it, even if that means we lose, even if we know the other person is not “correct”.
“If you want to enjoy life… Search for peace, and work to maintain it.” (1 Peter 3:10-11)
- Hold up the shield of faith: and it continues “to stop the fiery arrows of the devil”. These arrows are the things I mentioned above: thoughts, dreams, voices, gossips, obsessions, etc. That’s why we must believe what is good about our spouse, no matter what others tell us with evil intentions, we must believe that God is in control. And if something bad is, in fact, going on we know that it will be brought to light.
- Put on salvation as your helmet: Don’t pay attention to words and accusations that are said to hurt you; remember and say this instead: “There is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus”. (Romans 8:1)
- Take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God: Remember when Jesus was taken to the wilderness, Satan tempted him and Jesus always replied: “The Scriptures say”. Read the Bible, memorize promises and verses to fight the enemy with God’s Word.
- Finally, “pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere.” Spiritual warfare: IT’S REAL and to give an end to my short story… That’s how I beat the enemy that same Saturday and we felt it. BUT, spiritual warfare must be done by both sides because I don’t know what’s going on in my husband’s mind all the time…actually…I never know what’s going on in there… hahaha. But we can still pray for our spouse (or person we are having problems with).
I’ll leave a little “homework” with this post: Each of you must create a list of demons that you think are influencing you and the ones your spouse/friend/parent thinks is influencing you. Then, get ready to do some serious spiritual warfare!
I hope this post has helped you to identify and defeat your enemies and the enemies that are affecting your relationships.
If you think this might be helpful to someone you know, don’t hesitate and share it with them.
Also, please comment below and let us know your thoughts about this topic, or you can always jump to our private Facebook group. What has helped you defeat your enemies? What piece of advice would you give others?
Be gracious and don’t forget God’s love never fails.